Random

Found in my junk mail folder.

Greetings,

My name is Rajwa Jbeily Daoud, 59 years old single lady with no kids, because i have not been married before.

I'm from Homs Syria but i live in Aleppo Syria. I retired recently as a branch bank manager from Byblos Bank Aleppo, Syria.

Please dear, there is something very important i will like to discuss with you if you don't mind.

I will tell you the detail of the discussion and give you my credentials once i receive your humble reply.

Thanks and may Allah bless you.

Wassalam.

Miss Rajwa Jbeily.

What do they take me for that I would be tempted by a middle-aged Syrian spinster?

Cunninglingus

From a Malaysian newspaper.

According to the Mufti of the state of Perlis, Muslim men are permitted to, direct quote "lick their wife's vaginas but not to the extent of swallowing any feces".

This is in response to an earlier pronouncement from the Mufti of Perak that oral sex is strictly forbidden in Islam. I guess one could call the Perlis mufti a liberal.

So Muslim carpet-munching is somewhat like dealing with the Mafia, one slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit. A profoundly depressing aspect in observing contemporary Muslim societies is the automatic submissiveness* of the masses to religious authority and their desire to comply with the minutest hair-splitting religious directive. I was startled in my teens to see that the Malay language sections of bookshops were dominated by religious books proffering guidance for the most mundane day-to-day situations. This hasn't changed in thirty years.

They are not like us.

*not a coincidence that islam means submission.

Run hamster run II

From the Guardian (where else?)


Actor Harrison Ford shares a quiet moment with his grandmother between takes

It's unfair dear Carrie but unfortunately men age like wine while women age like milk. Deal with it.

Shake's mah haid.....

Some may think Islam is a dour, humourless religion. And they would be wrong! Just the simple details of the life of Mohammed (peace be upon him) is material for pure comedy gold.

NB: all the materials in the video were compiled from impeccable Muslim sources (Quran and the Hadith). How any moderately curious and independent minded Muslim can retain their faith after a cursory dip into Muslim traditions is beyond me. Is cognitive dissonance a major factor in educated Muslims? Is this a psychological stressor that deforms Islamic societies?

Irony III

From a web portal on ongoing clinical trials.



The ironically named physician leading the study on the efficacy of metformin as an adjuvant to castration in treatment of advanced prostate cancer is Devalingam Mahalingam.

Deva- is from the Indo-European stem for God (hence dios/theos in Greek and the Latin deus).

Maha- meaning great has the Indo-European stem meg from which we get mega-, magnus, etc.

And lingam? That means phallus, which is worshiped by devotees of Shiva as a symbol of the male procreative force in nature.

In Hindu temples the shivalingam is placed on a pedestal representing the female reproductive organs (yoni*) thus creating a potent (fnarr, fnarr) fertility symbol.





Dr. Divine-penis Great-penis, we wish you the best of luck in your clinical study!

*In Watership Down there is a hedgehog called Yoni, surely an inside joke. 

Answer: Run!!!!!!!!

Run Hamster Run

From my favourite source for the absurd, The Grauniad.



Uhhh Diana, you'd have to give them a brush to dust away the cobwebs, love.

And of course no post about bat-shit crazy feminists in the Guardian would be complete without La Valenti.



I'm guessing a personal milestone* was passed sometime between June 2014 and July 2015.
The Wall, it's not just a classic rock album.

*Any bets that the passably attractive photograph of Mz. Valenti is culled from thousands of shots and that the one magically unrepresentative image was selected?